How to Slow Down and Stay in Flow
It’s been almost two months since my last day working a “traditional job”. I spent almost the entire month of January in Texas where I was on full vacation mode. I worked out when I wanted, I binged watched SO MANY shows on Netflix. I cooked, relaxed and honestly felt very little stress. When I returned home, my internal system was prepared to go back to work. There was one problem with this…I didn’t have a job! It was as if my body was rushing and ready to get right back into a routine and I was exerting all of my energy trying to slow it down. Because of this internal conflict my body was having with my brain I ultimately got sick and spent a week in bed. I was eager to get back into the normalcy of life and “get on with it”, but I didn’t even know what “it” was. After several days of feeling sorry for myself, laying in bed, and doing some major reflecting, I finally conceded and told myself maybe it’s time I just slow down.
It can be so tricky for us recovering people pleasers and workaholics to just sit and do nothing. My friends and family keep telling me to rest and just enjoy this time I have off. I always thought I was a pretty chill person, but doing nothing and doing it everyday is exhausting all while boring at the same time. Yes, I have the blog, I have my business, but I’m not used to running those full time. I prided myself on working a traditional job, while also having my own side hustles (emphasis on the ‘side’). I’ve always dreamt of being my own boss and running the show and calling the shots, but it was supposed to happen in MY time. Also, being the structured individual that I am, I was going crazy not having a routine and certain blocks of time designated to work. So what have I started to do to minimize the feelings of laziness, scattered thoughts, and depression? I’m slowing down, and here’s how you can too.
Gratitude- I think the hardest part about losing a job is losing the friends you made. I always thought I’d be able to go back and visit everyone at work even after I left. Since the entire establishment is no longer in place, that can’t happen. What can happen however is connecting with them outside of work being grateful for our paths crossing in the first place. Expressing gratitude, even if it’s for the smallest thing and sometimes the only thing you can think of to be grateful for will shift your attitude. You can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time. It’s science. Starting my mornings with gratitude has been so important in diminishing thoughts of anxiety or worry.
Journaling- I wrote a blog post for Valentine’s Day this year that included 11 self love journal prompts. I challenged everyone on my social media and those of you who are subscribed to the blog to take part in the challenge by selecting a prompt and journaling everyday. I followed my own advice and found some of the journal prompts extremely useful in helping me get over my little pity party. Journaling can bring up so many thoughts and feelings you didn’t even know were there. It’s also great for brain dumping when you’re feeling like your thoughts are scattered and all over the place. It’s also been so good to intentionally set out the time to slow down and just write. I try to do this first thing when I wake up, or right before bed.
Read- I’ve always been a huge reader! It’s sort of my escape. I guess you can say it’s the introvert in me. I’ve already read 4 books this year and every single one of them has gotten me out this ‘rut’ that I’ve been in. Each one has helped me slow down, put things into perspective and have also given me practical things to accomplish in my life and in my business. My favorite book thus far has been ‘13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do’. So fitting right? In one of the chapters, she talks about how defining your worth with your work is NOT something mentally strong women do. I could write an entire blog post about this book, it’s been that helpful. A must read for sure.
Walking and Yoga- I’m a high intensity workout person. I love cardio, I love to move quickly, and I despise being in the gym for hours on end. It’s all about the rush for me. The loud music, the motivation. I love all of it. My body on the other hand was literally screaming at me to slow dowwwwnnnnn. Not being able to workout the way I wanted to was devastating and really took a toll on me mentally. As soon as I started to feel even an ounce better, I started to get outside and go for walks. Now as I’m sitting here writing this, it’s all of 3 degrees and I will definitely not be going outside for a walk. But when the sun is shining and its 50 or higher, I make sure to get those steps in. People underestimate walking when it has soooo many benefits. Not to mention the natural Vitamin D you’re getting which is a mood booster in itself. As for the yoga, depending on the type you’re practicing, it has been shown to relax your nervous system. Your nervous system is the first system to come under attack when you get sick or stressed out. So while I may not be able to exert myself on my peloton right now, I can still find ways to move my body that it will thank me for.
Rest- This is a hard one for me but only because I’ve developed the attitude of ‘feeling guilty for resting’ from our fast paced society. I love to relax and do nothing but with so much uncertainty it can be hard to just do nothing. This is still something I haven’t fully mastered and I’m still working on fighting the urge to get up and do something when my body is telling me to stop. Grace is the only thing that makes resting right now possible.
Grace- I have really been practicing giving myself grace during this cross roads period of my life. I repeatedly tell myself that every successful person I know has had a hiccup in life. I remind myself that my worth is not attached to my work. I allow myself the space to feel every emotion I’m going through. Whether it’s sadness, fear, worry, anxiety, depression, joy, I give myself the grace to feel it all. My challenge to you is to feel all of these things and know you’re not alone but to also move out of these feelings when they’re not serving you or helping you progress. Which brings me to my next point…
Do Things That Bring You Joy- '“What can you do right now that will bring you joy?” The question my counselor asked me after she could visibly see the anxiety running through my entire body. I told her, I really just wanted sunshine and to cook a really great meal. She then asked me, “Well why don’t you do that?”. I sat there for a minute trying to determine if this was a trick question and then I finally responded with “I guess I can.”. And it’s really that simple. During times of uncertainty and feeling somewhat paralyzed to make a move (because you’re afraid to make the wrong one), slow down and just do something that brings you joy.
Serving- I saw a meme once that said if you’re feeling anxious or depressed, give. My interpretation of this was simply to give more of my gifts. Whether it’s writing, cooking, coaching, or sharing words of wisdom on social media. All of these are small acts of service. Tiny things we can do to contribute to others outside of ourselves. Servant leadership in any capacity reduces the symptoms of depression and anxiety. It also forces us to slow down and take the light off of ourselves so it can shine on someone else.