Are you Sinking or Swimming?

I’ll start by saying this. There’s a lot going on right now. Like, a lot. I don’t know if you can relate to this but I am overwhelmed. I can usually coast through and still manage to stay productive despite chaos going on around me. The past few weeks I can say, I’ve done everything under the sun but productivity is NOT one of those things. The past few weeks have felt like a wave of emotion mixed with lethargy and feelings of being uninspired. When things get heavy, I think one of the hardest things to do is to push through. It’s like resistance on a bike or treadmill. The higher the resistance, the harder it is to push. I think life can be summed up like that as well. If I’m being honest and vulnerable, which is what I use this space for primarily, I can say the resistance is REAL and it feels like I’m climbing a huge mountain doing everything in my power not to let the bike go backwards. After finally reaching my breaking point emotionally, I decided I just needed to take a day for me. I was asked the question “Do you feel like you’re sinking or swimming?” My reply was “I feel like I’m treading water and I need a life jacket because I’m tired.” I’ve struggled with feeling guilty when I’m not constantly working on something. I’ve also struggled with questioning what I’m truly passionate about. I love a good visual so just imagine treading water in the middle of an ocean and guilt is like a wave that just keeps crashing over you. That is when I realized I needed a break. I know there are people also struggling right now whether that be emotionally or mentally. I feel like I have gathered some practical ways for anyone else feeling stuck or treading water on how to move through the weightiness of all things race, injustice, pandemics, and work.

Make time for you. I don’t know what you do for work, but when you have the opportunity, take a day and just relax. For those of you who have businesses in addition to full time jobs, this also means taking a break from that as well. This means saying no to things outside of yourself. Just for one day. People like to bash the idea of self love or self care but I’m not sure they understand the importance of it. Self care is a necessity to ensure your mental state and emotional wellbeing are in tact. This also applies to your physical state. Without self care, or self love, how can you serve anyone outside of yourself with everything you have? This all starts with taking the time and blocking out your day just for you. If you’re a parent with smaller children, I know this can seem nearly impossible but I believe in my core the day needs to be yours.

Pamper yourself. Get a manicure, get a pedicure, book a massage. I’ve said this many times before…when you look good, you feel good! These are small things you can do not to escape what’s going on, but to pause. Take some time to really be present and allow yourself to just feel good. I always feel better after getting my nails done. Especially after salons being closed for three months I was so eager to get back in and treat myself. Not only is it relaxing but you deserve it! If pampering yourself means getting out into nature, do that. But, you have to do something! On my self care day, I got my nails done, read, worked out, took myself on a lunch date to my favorite restaurant and then came home and worked on my flowers. What’s your ideal day that you can live out right now? Do that!

Find new ways to be creative. When I am expressing my creativity, I feel alive. For the longest time I didn’t believe I had a creative bone in my body but the more I dived into what I really enjoyed doing, the more I found myself actually creating without having to think about it. Different forms of creativity can mean cooking, baking, painting, drawing. I love cooking and I feel most alive when I am doing that. Spending the whole day creating a meal is one of my favorite things to do. I also recently took up gardening. Kind of. I went out and bought some flowers with help from my dad and I started learning about different flowers and how to take care of them so they thrive. I never thought I would be someone who has a green thumb but if I’m honest, my flowers are the brightest and biggest on the block. Just sayin! Make sure you tap into something that activates different parts of your brain. This helps pull you out of those slumps and gets your mind running and calms down those negative thoughts.

Read a book. I love personal development books! Fiction books are great too if you’re looking to escape. I love personal development books because I can take notes and later apply what I’m learning. Theres always something to learn and sometimes I find myself reading a line of words stringed together as if the author wrote those exact words just for me. Right now, I am reading The Way of the Warrior by Erwin McManus. I have the book linked below for you to grab! I think I’ve highlighted something on every page of this book. One of the many quotes that has stuck with me is, “The warrior does not know where they’re going; they know who they are following. The warrior marks their path not by destination but by Presence.” In the midst of treading water it’s almost like I need some kind of direction and don’t know where to go. In reality, all I need to do is focus on the present, and follow the One who DOES know where I’m going. They say (whoever they is) that readers are leaders. I truly believe readers are only leaders if they apply what they’ve read. Meditate on quotes in books that stick out to you and really take some time to reflect.

Social media detoxes are a must. I’m a huge proponent of social media and what it can offer. I run my business mainly from social media and I absolutely love connecting with people from around the world. While there are numerous benefits to social media, I’ve found it also serves as a platform for everyone to voice their opinion and give unsolicited advice. I’m also guilty of that but I try to offer value more than anything. With all of the chaos going on around us, it seems like everyone is either a virus or political expert. As someone who feels things on a super deep level I was beginning to take all of these things personally and internalize them. I found myself wanting to constantly argue, challenge and prove people wrong. I was missing the point entirely of what it means to be a voice. I also started to feel paralyzed and I couldn’t find anything positive to say and I felt as if I didn’t have any value to offer. I think as someone who wants to build an online business, it can be tricky getting caught between focusing on your business/brand and wanting to stand for what you believe in. When these lines start to blur and you become uncomfortable with what to post, that’s when you need to take a break. Social media can cause us to compare and bring out insecurities. This is how I was starting to feel. Here’s what I did. Mute certain accounts, unfollow people and minimize your time spent on your phone. Try not to post just for a couple of days to avoid that good feeling of receiving likes and comments otherwise known as instant gratification. Trust me, a social media detox is well worth it. Plus, my business still grew during this time and my absence actually brought me even more connections.

Find a mentor/someone to talk to. I always feel better when I talk to someone who has what I want. They’ve been where I’ve been but ultimately, they have what I want. Mentors keep you in check, ask you the deep questions, hold you accountable and honestly just make sure you’re doing okay. I reached out to my mentor and his advice was everything I NEEDED to hear. He told me to stop focusing on monetary goals and focus on The Word and meditating on that. As I read each scripture, I felt like the entire book was written specifically for me. Make sure you have someone in your corner who will guide you back to what’s important, not just help you reach financial or business goals. You need someone who makes sure you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. I also recommend studying people you admire. What are their habits? What do they do to reset? Even understanding your personality type can help you figure out the best way to reset for YOU. For example, I’m a 4 on the enneagram. Resetting looks a lot like focusing more on reality and less on daydreaming. It means finding ways to express creativity and it also means reaching out to someone else to get out of the mindset that I’m the only one hurting. There’s always someone to talk to!

So, after reading this, do you feel like you’re sinking, swimming or treading water? I’d love to know! If you’re in the treading water space or even the sinking space, it’s time to get unstuck. Change your state, pray, figure out what serves you. Figure out what is the life vest you need and how can you get out of the rocky water. We can’t serve other people, we can’t grow businesses, we can’t be great friends or family members if we’re stuck in ruts and not doing anything to get out of them. When you feel like you’re in hell, you have to RUN out. When you feel like you’re treading water in the middle of a vast ocean crying for help, you have to figure out how to get to shore or at least flag down the coast guard. It’s going to take personal responsibility and action to move out of these spaces. It’s going to take you letting go of your pride. It’s going to take you time to not feel guilty for “doing”. Here’s what I know; your mind and soul deserve it.

xo, Liv