Why I’m Choosing to Get Loud

I didn’t want to write about this. I had this blog written and was very close to publishing it last week. After reflecting, getting quiet, talking with those closest to me, I decided to wait. Last week was taxing. I felt every emotion from confusion, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety and guilt. It seemed like every time I opened Facebook or Instagram someone had sent me a video, a tweet or a post asking my opinion. I internalized every video, every word and every thought outside of my own. My original blog post regarding George Floyd was in direct response to those who disagreed with me. As a blogger, a fairly new one with a predominantly white audience, I decided not to publish anything last week. Overwhelmed like so many of you I didn’t want my post to come off as a trigger response. After sitting on this for days I realized I wanted it to be educational. Take what you will from this post. But do not ignore the information and the facts provided. Education is a necessity right now and knowledge is only power when you do something with it. I hope those of you reading this will do something. Not just read and tell me “great blog”, or shout me out on social media. Read the next few paragraphs and ask yourself how you can make a real change. Ask yourself how you can initiate hard conversations. Ask yourself the hard questions. Then do the work necessary to break the cycle.

I’ll start by saying that yes, we do need love. This has always been my message. I’ll never stop saying it. But after watching probably the 20th video of a murdered unarmed black man and on several other occasions woman by those specifically in power to protect us, my message needs to be louder. I spoke about being biracial a few weeks ago and what challenges that comes with. I find myself in the middle of those same challenges. African American blood (along with caucasian) but my skin is very light. I have a large caucasian following but I am largely in touch with the black community and feel the same pressures and often worry about those I love and the injustices they have faced or will face. I feel outraged by what happened. I feel confused. I feel conflicted that I have not used my platform to get loud in the past. I feel pain. I feel sad. I’m tired.

What is Black Lives Matter?

As most of you know, there are protests/riots going on in all 50 states. These protests have also extended into other parts of the world. Right across the street from my job, retail shops are being boarded up. City wide curfews are still in place, and police brutality is still happening and being caught on video. For those of you reading this who are upset about what is being done to your communities, let’s put some things into perspective. Black Lives Matter is an organization that was founded after the unjust killing of Trayvon Martin in 2013. The Black Lives Matter organization has a direct mission to “eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes”. When you see the BLM hashtag, or the signs during the protests, or the t-shirts, PLEASE know what this movement means. Please understand this organization is in direct response to injustice and specifically police brutality against the African American community. When you see the protests going on, know the difference between BLM members and supporters versus looters, and others damaging property. There are multiple organizations claiming to be part of the BLM movement but they are terrorizing neighborhoods and leaving the black community to blame for the destruction. Google ANTIFA and do your own research. I prefer not to give them too much attention here. Stop saying “All Lives Matter”. We know. When you say this, you’re literally failing and missing the point of the BLM movement and everything it represents. We know that statistically whites are killed more than blacks by police but whites also comprise of 61.3% of the US population. I’m not a math genius but odds would say this makes sense. Even with that percentage, blacks are still 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police. Being Pro BLM is NOT anti police. It’s anti police brutality.

A History Lesson

To put some other things into perspective for you, let’s take a look at history. As I mentioned before, this is nothing new. The Montgomery Bus Boycott lasted for 381 days. December 5, 1955 to December 20, 1956. This is what it took for the U.S. Supreme Court to rule that segregation on public busses/transportation is unconstitutional. Let us also not forget the King Assassination Riots. This is also known as the Holy Week Uprising. This was the greatest wave of social unrest in the US since the civil war. Over 40 deaths, over $45 million of destruction and over 15,000 arrests. On the 6th day of the riots, the Civil Rights Act of 1968 was passed. “A riot is the language of the unheard.” MLK Jr. You’ve probably heard that quote a lot the past few days. It probably makes you uncomfortable. As it should. To think that was quoted during a time where my mom and dad wouldn’t have been able to even drink from the same water fountain and here we are in 2020 using it again. It is our right to peacefully protest. Lastly, The Devastation of Black Wall Street in 1921. In Tulsa Oklahoma’s Greenwood District known as Black Wall Street was one of the most prosperous African-American communities in the United States. On May 31, the Tulsa Tribune reported that a black man allegedly attempted to rape a white woman. Witnesses didn’t wait for the investigative process to play out which led to 2 days of racial violence resulting in 35 of these blocks going up in flames, 300 deaths, and 800 injuries.

Please understand, I am not condoning violence, looting, destruction of any property but here is what I know. Companies can rebuild. Glass can be replaced. Communities can be picked back up. Graffiti can be removed. We’ve proven it as a country time and time again. We’ve also shown that our economy is more important than protecting the lives that have been lost due to police brutality and racism. If we can look at our communities and be sad over the aftermath and destruction, how can we NOT be sad that innocent lives are being taken from us everyday because of the color of their skin and systemic racism by the very people who are suppose to be protecting us. This is how conditioned we have become to believe that business’s deserve to stay alive more than people who simply just have darker melanin than I do. Let’s also not forget, the BLM movement and majority of other’s protesting are not the ones doing the damage. Know the difference.

When It Hits Too Close to Home

If you don’t know, or if you need to be reminded, Racism still exists. We cannot fix this until we have acknowledged there’s a problem. It’s going to take a movement. A collective of people getting loud. I watched a video of one of my best friends talk about this and what he said has stuck with me. “Would it help you to understand if it was me?”. I don’t know what it’s going to take for people to understand we have a major problem but maybe thinking about their black friends or family members will help put things into perspective. This is the reality I, along with so many others live with everyday. In 1988, my dad was assaulted by a police officer. My dad came out of a restaurant to find a stranger leaning on his car. My dad asked him to get off and it escalated quickly. When the cops arrived, instead of deescalating the situation, they came out swinging with billy clubs and smashed my dads left eye in. Our family name is reputable in various parts of Kansas. Instead of pressing charges against that police officer, my dad was asked to leave the city so that a police officer wouldn’t be known for assaulting a member of a well known family in the community. Even more recently, my cousin was arrested while getting into his car trying to leave a peaceful protest before it got out of hand. He sat in a bus for hours before he was booked and was never read his miranda rights nor was he ever told why he was being arrested.

What About Black on Black Crime?

To give you some context, there are viral videos and tweets going around about “black on black” crime insinuating that we should protesting and chanting BLM all the time because of the high rates of black homicides committed by other African Americans. This argument is tired. It’s old. Stop saying this. Every race commits more crime against their own race. That’s a fact. The irony? I’ve never heard anyone call this “white on white” crime. And why is it that when a white male commits an act of domestic terrorism or mass shootings, it’s never called “white on white crime”? Why are we so quick to make villains of African Americans who are killed at the hands of police officers pointing out every single fault and crime they’ve ever committed but we justify domestic terrorism committed by white males with “mental illness”? Here are just a few of the organizations that are in fact in the streets fighting against gang violence. Mothers in Charge, The Newark Anti Violence Coalition, MASK (mothers/men against senseless killings), and Open Door. People who are making the black on black crime argument are out of touch with the black community and are simply using skewed information from the exact organizations that we are protesting against. This brings me to my next point; systemic racism.

What is Systemic Racism?

Systemic racism doesn’t mean “lots of racists in the system”. It means that even if there were ZERO racists present, the system would still disproportionately harm people of certain races. So no, we are not saying every white person is a racist. We are not saying every police officer is a racist. We are saying the system is embedded with racism. This is what has to change. It’s also not just in police organizations. Systemic racism is also found in the education system, housing, public health equity, hiring discrimination, sexual harassment and more. We can’t rely on information from the department of justice or FBI and other government statistics because they are skewed. This is why it’s called Systemic. It’s embedded into every aspect of the system. This is why we take videos. We know the system will say something else happened or report the high rates of African American crimes rather than the facts. George Floyd is the only the name today.

We know there are good police officers.

Understand we are not saying all police are bad. We all know if we were in danger, we would call the police if we needed help. The problem lies within the system of police who believe they are above the law. “Holding court in the streets”. The problem is with the police who racially profile. The problem is with the systemic injustice that has been going on for years because bad police are never held accountable for their actions. The problem is with certain police enticing more violence and going against protocol. There’s an argument that police brutality is a myth. There are so many fallacies in this argument I can’t even begin to touch on each one. I’ll just provide actual examples in hopes that you understand.

Trayvon Martin- a 17 year old walking home from a convenience store after buying snacks. A neighborhood watch person assumed he was suspicious, but a 911 dispatcher told him not to pursue it. He did anyways, and fatally shot Martin 70 yards from his home. His killer, George Zimmerman, was not convicted of any charges.

Tamir Rice was a 12 year old playing with a fake gun in a park. The 911 call that reported him noted that he was probably a juvenile and that the gun was probably a fake. But, in an encounter that only took 2 seconds, the police pulled up and shot Tamir twice. It was revealed after that his killer had been previously fired as an officer for being emotionally unstable. His killer, Timothy Loehmann, was not convicted of any charges.

Breonna Taylor was a 26 year old African American emergency room technician who was asleep in bed with her husband when law enforcement broke in without warning. They were in the wrong house investigating a case unrelated to the couple. After a brief confrontation, they shot at least 8 shots into Taylor. Not one of the officers involved in her killing have been charged.

Philando Castile was a 32 year old African American man who was driving with his girlfriend and her 4 year old daughter. He was pulled over in a traffic stop. He informed the officer that he carried a gun but was just reaching for his license. He was shot close range several times. His killer Jeronimo Yanez was not convicted of any charges.

Anthony Hill was a black U.S. Air Force veteran with 7 medals from his service but suffered from bipolar disorder and PTSD. During a mental health crisis, he had stripped naked and wandered his apartment complex looking for medicine. 911 was originally called in order to get him medical help. When the police showed up, they shot the unarmed Hill twice. His killer, Robert Olsen was not convicted of any charges.

Oscar Grant was a 22 year old man who was on his way home from a New Year’s Eve party. Police arrived at Fruitvale BART in response to an altercation which had already ended. They suspected Grant was involved and pinned him down. While pinned down, unarmed begging to not be tased, Grant was shot in the back by police. His killer Johannes Mehserle, was only convicted of involuntary manslaughter.

Eric Garner was suspected of selling single cigarettes without tax stamps. He was approached by police and said that he doesn’t know why they always harass him and that he was not selling. Multiple officers then attempted to arrest Garner, where they wrestled him to the ground and restrained him. Before being strangled to death he said “I can’t breathe” 11 times. His killer Daniel Pantaleo was not charged or convicted.

Atatiana Jefferson was a 28 year old woman who was shot and killed in her Fort Worth home after a neighbor called the police for a wellness check because her front door was reportedly open. She was playing video games with her 8 year old nephew when she was killed. Bodycam footage showed she was shot within 4 seconds of the officer arriving. Her killer, Aaron Dean, is yet to be convicted.

Yvette Smith was a 47 year old former caretaker who called the police after trying to settle a dispute between two men. When Smith opened her door, the responding officer yelled “police” and shot her three seconds later with his personal AR-15 semi automatic rifle. Her killer Daniel Willis, was cleared of all murder charges.

Freddie Gray died after his spine was 80% severed at his neck during his arrest (also was not secured in a seat belt in the police car, against policy) no convictions.

Botham Jean was killed in his own apartment after police officer mistakenly walked into his apartment thinking it was her own and killed the resident. Sentenced to 10 years.

I’ll stop there. Do not entertain the lies that racism doesn’t exist just because you haven’t experienced it. Do not entertain the lies that we don’t have a systemic problem. Do not entertain the lies that black on black crime isn’t being addressed. Even further, when you hear somebody say this, ask them if they’re aware of white on white crime.

We have to do better. We have to make real change. We have to stop turning a blind eye because this doesn’t directly happen to us. We have to get loud.

Please reach out to me if you have questions about how you can get involved in being part of the change.