Healing Isn’t Linear
You had it all planned out. You never questioned anything. You thought it was your moment, your person, your career. And then it wasn’t.
What you had planned, fell through the cracks, and you’re on your healing journey. Does this resonate? I have been on a healing journey for the last few months and here’s what I’ve come to learn.
Healing is not linear.
We set ourselves up for failure when we impose expectations as to where we “should be” on our healing journey. We give ourselves timelines as to when we will “be healed”, when we will “move on” and we wonder why the setbacks are so triggering for us. Last year when I lost my job of 7 years, it took me 5 months to process that loss. I questioned everything. I tried to replace that job with another job just like it to remain feeling somewhat connected to it. It was when I truly let go that I fully started to heal.
Letting go allows us to actually start the healing process. As long as we hold onto the past, we can never step into the present moment, thus never stepping into the future that God has for us. The setbacks will come. You will have good days. You will have bad days. You will have days where you feel so confused….but know this, whatever has happened, had to happen. Whatever heartbreak you’re dealing with, it needed to happen. Whatever you have lost, you needed to lose it. Whatever has ended, has had to end. It’s only when things end that we can step into our new beginnings.
I know you feel uncertain. I know you’re overthinking. I know you’re questioning, doubting and feelings of fear creep in. I know you’re anxious. But what if we changed the perspective? What if instead of feeling uncertain, we replace those thoughts with positive thoughts. Instead of overthinking, what if we paused and told ourselves to get out of our heads and into our hearts? What if instead of questioning, we let go of the need to control everything? And what if instead of fear and anxiety, we take on each day not fully knowing how we will make it through, but knowing that God will carry and handle every battle on our behalf?
Healing is messy. Healing is vulnerable. Healing looks like laughing hysterically one minute, then ugly crying the next. Healing is feeling compassion for those who have wronged you while being so angry with them at the same time. I know this to be true because I’m on the journey with you. I was certain I would never experience a relational heartbreak ever again. I was certain about my person, my future, and the life I was headed to create. Yet I find myself here grabbing each day by the horns, putting on the armor of God and trying my best to surrender. So maybe, just maybe we all need to accept that healing isn’t pretty. But by doing the work, taking accountability of our own triggers (cause they’re ours, not anyone else’s responsibility), and surrendering it all, we begin to fall into acceptance of what IS. Not what WAS, and not what WILL BE.
When you beat yourself up for “not being where you’re supposed to be”, I want you to remember this first: What God is doing in you during the waiting, is far more profound than the miracle you’re waiting for. Ask yourself, “what needs to be changed within me in order for that miracle to come?”.
That’s where the healing begins.
Xo,
Liv
Related Posts: